


The Awakening

by DiNovia



Series: Home for the Holidays [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/F, Original Character(s), Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 04:51:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4815710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiNovia/pseuds/DiNovia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Olivia is meeting Casey's family.  For the first time.  At Thanksgiving.  In Falls Church. </p>
<p>What was she thinking?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Awakening

"You're going _where_?"  To say Elliot Stabler was surprised would have been an understatement.  It actually appeared as if his eyebrows were shopping for airspace three feet above his head.  
  
"On vacation," repeated Olivia Benson as she stacked a few manila folders in her out box.  "You remember those, don't you?  A series of days set aside for you each year where you don't have to eat, sleep, and breathe 'the Job'?  Where instead you go somewhere--preferably far away--to see something else.  _Anything_ else.  Like the Grand Canyon or the Mall of the Americas."  A tiny smile flashed across her eyes and dusted her lips before she looked up.  "Or, in this case, our nation's capitol."  
  
"On vacation."  Elliot leaned back in his chair and swung it from side to side, pinning his partner with a studiously indifferent gaze.  "And when was the last time you took more than two days off in a row, Olivia?  Hell, for that matter, when was the last time you took _any_ time off?  And doctor's visits don't count."  
  
Liv chucked a pencil into the cup next to her phone and frowned, the spot right between eyebrows crinkling unhappily.  "Don't start, Elliot."  
  
"Yeah, E, lay off," agreed Fin from his desk.  He was hunting and pecking on his keyboard, making a go of catching up on some DD-5s that were going stale in unkempt piles all over his desk.  "Don't pull that Huang shit on her.  Let her enjoy her damn vacation in peace!"  
  
"What?" asked the detective defensively.  "I'm just saying it's been a while.  I mean, I wanna know why Olivia 'Workaholic' Benson is taking vacation--at Thanksgiving, no less--to see a bunch of museums and crap in DC."  He looked at Liv accusingly.  "Is this because of last year?  The thing with the fried turkey?  I toldyou that wasn't my fault."  
  
"It's not that, Elliot," replied Liv, barely able to keep herself from rolling her eyes at him.  "It has nothing to do with you or the giant fireball that almost killed me _and_ nearly burned down your house last year.  I just feel like getting away for a while.  I need a break."  
  
"And if you believe that, gentlemen," said Munch, steepling his fingers over his chest, "then I have a phone number guaranteed to be the direct line to Elvis's current hideaway, located in sunny Rock Harbor, Florida.  Yours for only a grand."   
  
Fin glanced at Olivia then turned to his partner, his frown more one of confusion than disapproval.  "Whatcha mean?  You sayin' Liv's lyin' to us?"  It was clear he didn't believe that for a second.  
  
"Oh no, no, no, my friend.  Not _lying_.  Our Ms. Benson is much too smart to be caught in an outright lie."  He grinned evilly, watching with a meddler's glee as Liv started to look very nervous.  "She's just not telling us the truth, are you, Olivia?  At least not the _whole_ truth."  
  
Elliot sat forward in his chair, one inquisitive eyebrow climbing his ample forehead.  "That right, Liv?  You leavin' something out?"  
  
The female detective shot a look at Munch that clearly said _If I could find a way to drop a handful of leeches down your shorts without out you thinking it was some bizarre sort of come on, I would, Geekboy._ Then she faced Elliot and calmly said the lamest thing she had possibly ever said in her entire life.  
  
"None of your bee's wax."  As soon as the words left her mouth, her head dropped to her desk with shame.  She would have groaned in response to her own stupidity if she hadn't been waiting for the floor of the squad room to crack open and swallow her whole.  How long was it until she could leave again?   
  
Both Elliot and Munch laughed.  "What are you, ten?" accused her partner.  "' _None of your_ _bee's wax?'_ "  
  
"Shut up," she shot back, her voice muffled by her shirt sleeves.  "Leave me alone."  
  
"Now why would I do something like that when picking on you makes you use words like _bee's wax_?"  He leaned forward and started poking her with his index finger.  "Buzz, buzz, buzz.  What aren't you telling us, eh, Liv?  Buzz, buzz, buzz.  I can do this all day, you know ."  
  
"Go.  The FUCK.  Away."  She tried to curl up into herself but she couldn't hide from him.  And she'd be damned if she'd run.  She'd endure his stupid buzzing and poking forever before she did that.  
  
"Ask her if she knows how our illustrious ADA is spending her holiday, Elliot."  As if imbued with some sort of magic, Munch's words stopped Elliot's incessant prodding and caused Olivia's head to raise up off her desk.  Both detectives turned to stare at the older man but with vastly different looks on their faces.  Elliot looked intrigued while Olivia's features seemed to convey only a murderous intent.  Munch blithely rambled on, oblivious.  "Reliable sources tell me Ms. Novak is taking vacation _at the same time_ as our esteemed colleague here.  And it is a matter of public record that her family resides in Falls Church, Virginia.  Only a few short miles from the District of Columbia, in fact.  Isn't that right, Olivia?"  
  
Fin looked from Olivia's rage-glittered eyes to Munch's smug grin and back again.  "Shit, Munch, don't you ever shut up?  She's got a gun, man!"  
  
"Relax, Detective Tutuola," said John, dismissing Fin's concern.  "If Olivia were going to kill me, she'd have done it long before now."  
  
"Wait!"  Elliot put up a hand to stop John's rampant teasing and leaned closer to his partner.  "Liv?  Is he right?  You're going home with Casey for Thanksgiving?"  His voice was as low as he could make it and still be heard.  For him, this topic had gone from silly to serious in an instant.  If true, this was big.  If true, this was bigger than big.  And it didn't deserve to be bandied about the squad room like some sort of ridiculous beach ball.  
  
Olivia looked at her hands, obviously embarrassed but still unable to completely hide the shy smile crooking her lips.  "Yeah," she confessed.  
  
"What are you two whispering about over there?" called the salt-and-pepper haired detective from his desk across the room.  "Inquiring minds want to know!"  
  
"You!" said Elliot, whipping around to jab a finger at Munch.  "You're done!  Fin, put a leash on him.  If he moves out of that chair, shoot him."  He turned back to Olivia and jabbed a finger at her as well.  "You!  In the locker room.  Now!"  
  
Stunned, Olivia bolted out of her chair and followed Elliot as he stalked away.  
  
"Aw, man.  Now look whatcha did, Freak," groused Fin.  He scowled at Munch and shook his head.  "Elliot's in Marine mode, man!  We're _all_ in trouble now."  
  
"What'd I do?" asked the older detective.  He was the picture of innocence with his "kicked puppy" look and his palms turned to the sky.  Fin snorted and went back to his DD-5s.  
  
\---  
  
Elliot Stabler whirled on his partner as soon as the door to the locker room shut behind them.   
  
"What the Hell is going on, Liv?"  
  
Wide-eyed, Olivia did a passable imitation of Munch's protestation of innocence, complete with palms raised to the sky.  "What?  What's wrong?"  
  
"What's wrong?"  The older detective ran a hand through his thinning hair.  "What's _wrong_?  How about this is a little sudden, isn't it?  I mean...I thought..."  He paced in front of a row of battered lockers, then stopped to pick at a spot where the ugly putty paint was peeling off to reveal a hideous shade of institutional green.  "Thanksgiving with her family, Liv?  That's pretty big, isn't it?  I thought you two hadn't even...you know..."  
  
Olivia blushed.  Talking to Elliot about sex always felt like how she imagined talking to a married brother about it would feel.  Embarrassing and vaguely creepy.  
  
"We haven't," she muttered.  She nervously played with the chain at her throat.  "I didn't want to rush...anything."  
  
" _You_ didn't want to rush anything?"  Elliot looked almost amused.  Olivia did not.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean, Elliot?" she asked pointedly.  
  
_Ah, shit._   He held up his hands; tried to explain.  "Liv, I didn't mean--"  
  
"Bullshit you didn't!  You're just like the rest of them, aren't you?  You think that I just jump into--"  She stopped suddenly and clenched her fists.  Angry tears pricked the corners of her eyes.   
  
_Of course he thinks that.  Everyone thinks that. **You** think that. _  
  
"Elliot, don't you think I'm sick to death of it?  Sick to death of falling into bed with someone then disappearing before the sun comes up?  Of never trusting anyone enough, of always running away?"  She dropped down onto one of the benches and propped her elbows on her knees.  "I kept waiting for it to change.  I kept thinking that the next time, the next person...would be...different.  But it wasn't.  It was never any different."  
  
Elliot sat down beside her.  "Not even with Alex?"  
  
Olivia chuckled ruefully.  She would have been more surprised by the assumption if it hadn't been the hundredth or so time she'd heard it.   
  
"There was never any 'with Alex', Elliot," she admitted softly.  She glanced at his cloud-gray eyes.  "I know you all thought there was.  And I never told you otherwise because I guess I had hoped..."  Her voice drifted away with her thoughts, riding memories like a gull navigating a brisk ocean breeze.  When she returned to the confines of the locker room there was a sadness in her eyes.  "I'm not crazy, Elliot.  There was something there between Alex and I.  There just wasn't enough time.  And even if there had been..."  
  
"She wasn't right for you."  It wasn't a question.  Or even a supposition.  Elliot's statement sounded carved in stone and Olivia looked at him quizzically.  "She wanted to be more than just an ADA, Liv.  She wanted to call the shots, wanted political power.  And as much as she may have hoped otherwise, that just isn't you.  It would have broken you two up.  Maybe not at first, but eventually.  Eventually you would have begun to resent her going to political dinners and fundraisers on the arm of a hired stud, would have resented her calling you her 'dear friend' to the press.  Eventually she would have gotten tired of all the hiding, of all the complications that go with being a closeted political figure.  It would have ended..."  He paused, trying to come up with a word to describe the scene he saw in his mind's eye.  "Messily," he said finally.  
  
Silence pulsed through the musty room for a few heartbeats until Olivia found her voice.  "Wow.  You really gave that a lot of thought."  
  
Elliot snorted.  "A little, yeah."  He gazed into Liv's burnt-sugar eyes.  "But just because I was worried.  We all were.  We just want you to be happy, Liv.  You deserve at least that much from this shit-hole life.  No matter who your mother was.  No matter what your father did.  You deserve that much.  And more."  
  
Liv laughed a watery laugh and looked away from her partner in an attempt to hide the tears in her eyes.  Using a classic tactic to distract him from her sudden emotion, she punched his shoulder.  
  
"Ow," he complained, rubbing the spot.  "You really are ten, aren't you?"  
  
"Bite me," she retorted feebly.  Then she hid her eyes.  "Oh God, I _am_ ten."  The two of them laughed again and then fell into a comfortable silence.  Until--that is--Elliot remembered the point of their conversation.  
  
"Liv?  You said before you were waiting for things to be different.  Are they?  With Casey, I mean?"  
  
The secret smile returned to Liv's mouth.  "Yeah," she said softly.  "She makes me want to _make_ them different."  She quirked a self-conscious grin at him.  "I know.  Corny, huh?"  She shrugged as if to say _But I can't help it_ , and left.  
  
"No, Olivia," smiled Elliot as he watched the locker room door swing shut behind her.  "It's not corny.  It's a goddamned miracle."  
  
\---  
  
"Take the next exit," directed Casey.  Olivia nodded but said nothing.  In fact, she hadn't said a word for almost an hour--not since Casey had excitedly announced that they were "almost there".  The ADA took a good look at the detective and noted how white her knuckles were on the steering wheel, how serious was the set of her jaw.  She laid a gentle hand on Olivia's forearm.  "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yes," said the older woman shortly.  But after glancing at Casey and her worried green eyes, she took a deep breath and tried to be a little more honest.  "No," she admitted softly.  "I'm...nervous."  
  
It had seemed like such a good idea at the time.  Thanksgiving at Casey's father's house.  Casey had wanted her to come so badly and really, what else was she going to do?  The same thing she'd done every year for the last seven?  Take up another chair at Kathy and Elliot's?  When her mother was still alive, she might have had a second, later meal with her; the two of them carving a small turkey breast between them or going out to dinner at one of the nicer hotels that catered to the "holiday lost" as Olivia called them.  And even if that second, later dinner usually ended up with her mother drunk and Olivia close to tears, she always had those hours before the wine set in to pretend that they were a real family, thankful for something even if it was just surviving another year.   
  
This year, though, things were different and Thanksgiving in Falls Church had seemed such an easy thing to do, such a nice change to make.   
  
But now, with their destination looming on the horizon, Olivia's insecurities came sharply to the fore.  Like the anti-war propaganda of Hanoi Hannah or Tokyo Rose, there was a never ending anti-Olivia radio show in her head.  A voice--suspiciously like her mother's-- telling Olivia over and over that she was flawed, evil, not fit for human company.  For the last hour that voice had been getting louder and louder.  It was driving her crazy and fucking with her mood.  
  
"What can I do to help?" asked Casey and the question made Olivia smile ever so slightly.  Not one to try to assuage fears with useless platitudes, Casey was willing to do whatever it took to make Olivia feel more in control of a situation that was, in actuality, out of anyone's control.  That small consideration for her feelings did wonders for Olivia's mood.  However, there was something else that would help, too.  
  
"Chris's girlfriend's name is Julie, right?"  
  
Casey chuckled to herself.  They'd already been over this how many times?  But if it would help...  
  
"Yes.  Julie."  
  
"Julie what?"  
  
"What?" asked Casey, confused.  Olivia hadn't asked this question before.  "What 'Julie what'?"  
  
Olivia laughed in spite of herself.  "She has a last name, doesn't she?"  
  
"Oh!"  Casey laughed, too.  Obviously she was nervous herself...though she knew she had no reason to be.  Olivia was going to be the hit of the holiday.  "Yeah.  It's Roberts."  
  
Olivia almost drove the rental off the road.  "Your brother is dating Julia Roberts??  _The_ Julia Roberts?"  
  
Casey rolled her eyes.  "The one who's married and who just had a set of oddly named twins last year?  Yeah, my brother's into that sort of thing."  She shook her head.  "No, not _the_ Julia Roberts, Olivia.  Just someone with the same name.  Which she hates.  She has to have an unlisted phone number and everything.  You wouldn't believe the number of idiots who think Julia Roberts would actually list her phone number in the book.  Let alone live in DC."  She glanced at the cross street that was coming up.  "Take a right at the next light."  
  
"Okay."  Olivia took a deep breath.  "We're getting close, aren't we?"  
  
Casey nodded.  "Pretty close, yeah.  It's about ten minutes from here."  She bit her lip for a moment, then made a decision.  "Pull over."  
  
"What?"  Olivia looked incredulously at the younger woman.  
  
"Pull over.  In that parking lot over there.  I want to talk to you for a minute."  
  
Olivia did what she was told, pulling into a spot in the nearly-deserted grocery store parking lot and turning off the engine.  She didn't know where to look so she kept her eyes on her hands in her lap.  
  
"Olivia, look at me."  
  
The detective looked up into sorrow-filled green-glass eyes.    
  
"We didn't really talk about this too much, did we?" began Casey.  She reached for one of Olivia's hands and held it gently in her own.  "That's my fault, I know.  I just wanted...  I couldn't..."  Flustered, Casey took a breath and tried again.  "If this is too much, just tell me, okay?  I don't want you to think that I'm pushing too hard or that I think there's more going on between us than there really is or...whatever.  Looking back, it was pretty selfish of me to ask you to come here.  I...I just wanted to be near you this particular holiday and I didn't give much consideration..."  She looked at their entwined hands for a long moment before finally finishing her thought.  "If you want to turn around and go back to New York, I would understand.  I'm sorry.  YoucanjustdropmeoffandI'llfindmyownwayhome--"  
  
Olivia stopped Casey's rambling with a sudden and gentle kiss.  When they parted, she rested her forehead against the younger woman's.  "You're not pushing too hard, Casey.  I just...I'm just worried, okay?  I mean, I'm sure your father didn't picture someone like me for his only daughter, you know?"  
  
"Someone like what?" asked the frowning ADA.  "Like a decorated police detective?"  She ran her fingers over the back of Liv's hand.  "Like a strong, beautiful woman with the most amazing, gorgeous brown eyes I've ever seen?"  
  
Olivia snorted mirthlessly.  "You paint a pretty picture, Counselor," she said dully.  She hoped Casey couldn't hear the lump in her throat that she was so desperate to hide.  
  
"I'm just telling the truth."  Casey lifted Olivia's hand to her mouth and brushed her lips over her knuckles.  "I wish you could see that."  
  
Olivia glanced at Casey and smiled softly.  _She's always in my corner...even when I'm not.  How can I spit on that?  S_ he abruptly leaned over and kissed the younger woman, startling her.  When she broke the kiss, she nuzzled the redhead's cheek and took a deep breath, inhaling the comforting scent of Casey's citrus-rosemary shampoo and something slightly spicy that was Casey alone.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey," she whispered.  "I don't mean to be so...negative.  I just want your family to like me.  It's important to me."  She pulled back a bit and looked shyly into Casey's eyes.  "Because it's important to you."  
  
Casey shook her head and grinned.  "My family isn't going to like you, Olivia; they're going to _love_ you."  _But not half as much as I do._   "And my father's a big marshmallow.  You'll see."  
  
"Sure he is...for you!  I bet the significant others you've brought home over the years would claim otherwise."  
  
Casey blushed.  "Well..."  
  
Olivia blinked.  "Casey Novak, if you tell me that I'm the first person you've ever brought home to meet your family, so help me..."   _Nervous_ was no longer the right word for what Olivia was feeling.  _Nauseated_ was more accurate.  
  
"You're not the first," Casey promised hurriedly.   
  
Olivia sensed there was more that the young woman wasn't telling her.  "But...?"  
  
"But...you're the first in six years."   
  
Olivia groaned.  "Oh my God.  Your father is going to _kill_ me."  
  
Casey laughed.  "No, he's not!  Honestly, Olivia.  You worry too much."  She tugged on the detective's hand.  "Now come here for a second," she said huskily, her eyes sparkling.  
  
Olivia quirked her famous half-grin at the attorney.  "What are you planning to do, Counselor?" she asked as she leaned towards the redhead.  
  
"Nothing," said Casey innocently.  "Well, nothing much," she amended before capturing Liv's lips with her own.  The kiss started at 'simmer' but soon hit 'boiling' when Casey wound her fingers in Olivia's longish, darker locks and pulled her close.  Olivia wrapped Casey in her arms and buried one hand in the silky hair at the nape of the attorney's neck.  She swallowed Casey's moan when she deepened their connection.   
  
"Mmmm, Ms. Novak," whispered Liv as she traced Casey's jawline with her mouth.  "You're very good at this."  
  
"Not half as good as you are, Ms. Benson," countered Casey as she reclaimed Olivia's lips.  Sweet, hot, languid and intense, the kiss would have drowned them both except...  
  
_Bambambambam._   A sudden banging on the car's hood caused the two women to jump apart guiltily.   
  
"What the FUCK?" yelled Casey, her heart pounding.  She pressed her hand over it as if to keep it in her chest.  Olivia couldn't help herself; she burst out laughing.  "What the Hell are you laughing at?" the younger woman shot at Liv, her eyebrows crowded low over her eyes.   
  
"Casey?" came an incredulous voice from outside the car.  "You're parking with your girlfriend on Thanksgiving?  I am _so_  telling Dad!"  
  
"'Telling Dad'?" repeated Olivia, horrified.  She blinked at the grinning blond standing outside the car, waving at them jovially.  "Oh my God.  That's your _brother_?  We were just caught making out in the car  _by_   _your older brother_?"  Olivia wondered if she was even going to make it to dinner at this rate.  
  
Casey glared at the man in question.  "Start the car, Olivia," she ground out between gritted teeth.  "Run him down.  No jury in the entire Universe would convict you.  I'll make sure of it."  
  
Olivia cradled her head in her hands and muttered, "Yeah, but right now prison sounds pretty good to me."  
  
\---  
  
"Casey, come on!  Don't be like this!"  Chris Novak walked backward through the foyer carrying a 12-pack of Sam Adams and one of Casey's suitcases.  "I was just kidding around!"  
  
"Stay away from me, Buttbrain.  I mean it.  I'm not talking to you."  Casey pulled her other suitcase behind her while one hand made sure to keep her older brother at bay.  Olivia followed them down the short hallway, noting at once the simple warmth of Casey's father's home and the welcome scent of turkey already roasting in the oven.  It was all so homey she almost didn't trust it.  Almost.  Casey's presence next to her made all the difference.   
  
"Look, if I hadn't have--er--interrupted, you could still be in that parking lot!  What if you'd been late to dinner?  I was doing you a favor, Case!"  Chris's features were dead serious but his laughing gray eyes gave him away.  
  
"I still hear talking.  Do you hear talking, Liv?  I hear talking.  I guess the jerk really doesn't want Christmas presents this year after all."  
  
Before he could respond, another voice called from the back of the house.  "Ladybug?  Is that you?"  Olivia assumed it was Casey's father, both by the tenor of the man's voice and by the smile that lit Casey's features like the summer sun.  
  
"Daddy!" squealed the younger woman and she ran for the origin of the call, dropping her bag like it was so much dirty laundry.  Olivia bent down to pick it up, a tolerant smile playing about her lips.  Casey's sudden joy was infectious.  
  
"I didn't do anything, Pops!" called Chris behind his sister.  "I swear.  Just ask Olivia here."  
  
"Oh stuff it, Chris," said another voice, this one joining the party in the foyer.  "She's not going to lie for you and neither would I if I'd been there.  Whatever you did, it was probably even worse than Casey's going to make it out to be, so just count your lucky stars and try not to incriminate yourself."  The curvy woman with a long, dark ponytail turned to Olivia and thrust out her hand.  "You must be Olivia.  Ignore 'Buttbrain' over there.  He's incorrigible.  I should know.  I'm his girlfriend."  
  
Olivia juggled the suitcases and bakery boxes she was carrying and took the shorter woman's hand.  "Julie, right?  Nice to meet you."  
  
"No, it's nice to meet _you_ ," said Julie earnestly.  "When Matt called to tell us that Casey was bringing 'someone special' to dinner this year...well, Chris and I were thrilled.  Here.  Let me help you with some of that," she laughed, reaching out for the bakery boxes and Casey's other suitcase.  "That's too much to handle even for one of New York's finest."  
  
The comment raised one of Olivia's eyebrows.  "Someone in your family on the job?" she asked lightly.  A minefield of possible heartbreaking responses loomed before her but she had to ask.  It was part of the unwritten code, the 'thin blue line'.  Expected in such a situation yet never easy.  
  
"An uncle," smiled Julie.  "Retired with forty years on the force.  Albany PD."  
  
"Forty years," repeated Liv, clearly impressed.  "That's quite an achievement."  
  
"Now, now, Julie.  The woman didn't come here to discuss work," interrupted a smiling, salt-and-pepper haired man.  He was tall and stocky with the same patrician nose as his daughter and the same laughing green eyes.  He had Casey on his arm and both father and daughter beamed.  To Olivia's eyes, Casey had never looked as lovely as she did at that moment.   "Detective Benson," greeted Matthew Novak, offering his hand.  "Welcome to my home."     
  
"Thank you, Colonel Novak, sir," she replied, taking his hand and shaking it firmly.  "And please, call me Olivia."  
  
"Olivia it is.  A fitting name for such a beautiful woman."  Matt's eyes twinkled.  
  
Shocked by the compliment, Olivia could only stand there dumbly while her cheeks and the tips of her ears burned bright red.  Until, that is, Casey came to her rescue.  
  
"Daddy, stop!  You're embarrassing her!"  
  
"What?  What did I say?  You don't think it's true?"  He arranged his features into a mock-horrified look.  "Surely you think your girlfriend is beautiful, don't you, Ladybug?"  
  
Now it was Casey's turn to blush, which she did with the same intensity as a fireworks display.  "That's it," she said flatly, dropping her father's arm and reaching for Olivia's hand.  "Put the stuff back in the car, Liv.  We're going home--"  
  
"No, no!  I'm sorry!"  Matt held his hands up to stop his headstrong daughter.  "I'm sorry, honey!  I couldn't resist!  I'll behave, I promise."  He turned pleading eyes toward Olivia.  "Forgive me, Detective.  Quickly.  Before my Casey here drags you away for good.  I don't want that.  You just got here!"  
  
Having regained a bit of her conversational footing, Olivia decided to fight fire with fire.  "Quid pro quo, Colonel.  If I convince Casey to stay, what's in it for me?"  
  
Matt blinked at Olivia for a long, uncertain moment then roared with laughter.  "Oh, Ladybug, she's _good_!" he raved.  He drew himself up to his full height and stood at attention, giving the impression that he was about to engage in some sort of battlefield negotiation.  His wide grin was the only thing that gave him away.  "How about I drop you from the duty roster for the day?"  He thought for a second and hurriedly added, "And you get extra servings of my stuffing before the others."  
  
Liv made a show of pondering the offer.  "I've heard good things about that stuffing," she said non-committally.  
  
Matt raised an eyebrow as he considered the dark-haired woman with the enigmatic gaze.  "You've obviously studied at the Casey Novak School of Negotiation, Detective.  Are you at all partial to coffee?"  He barked a short laugh.  "Never mind.  You're a cop.  Of course you are.  You probably bleed the stuff, like my little girl."  He placed his hands behind his back and paced a few steps.  "You're off the duty roster, you get second helpings of the stuffing before the others, and after dinner, you and I will have a cup of coffee together while they do the dishes.  Kona Blue Sky Peaberry.  Private Reserve, direct from Hawaii.  Does that meet with your approval, Detective?"  
  
Olivia did not hesitate.  She turned her sparkling eyes to Casey's.  "Sorry, honey.  We're staying."  
  
Julie and Chris joined in the laughter as Casey put her hands on her hips, the look on her face somewhere between proud, stunned, annoyed, and confused.  "I have _no idea_ what just happened here.  None at all," she groused.  
  
"It's called 'an ambush', sis," said Casey's brother in a very know-it-all tone.  "Now you know how I feel.  Finally!"  
  
Casey shook her head.  "Terrific," she muttered grouchily.  " _Just_ what I always wanted."  
  
She wondered why she was the only one not laughing.

* * *

The game was on in the living room and Chris and Julie had staked out the two ginger-colored wingback chairs opposite the large screen TV to watch.  A leather recliner--slightly worn through years of use--sat empty between them.  Olivia suspected that was 'the king's throne' and would only ever be shared with the grandchildren, whenever they arrived.  
  
Casey and she had claimed the small loveseat along the wall though there was certainly room for more people to share it with them.  Casey was sitting so close to her they were practically taking up just one spot.   
  
Olivia tried to keep her mind on the game, watching--seemingly with interest--as the Packers attempted to move the ball down snowy Lambeau Field.  She was finding it difficult to concentrate, though, with Casey's left hand snuggled between her denim-clad thighs.  Casey didn't move it or in any way call attention to the comfortable arrangement but Liv's belly burned with a low, steady flame of desire.  She wondered if the redhead knew what the touch was doing to her and then instantly pushed the question from her mind.  It didn't matter either way, really, but she suspected that discovering Casey was doing it on purpose would reduce her to frustrated tears.  She hadn't wanted someone this badly since...  
  
_Since never.  You've never felt this way in your whole life and it scares the ever living shit out of you, Benson.  Face it._  
  
She stole a glance at the ADA and let her eyes linger, seemingly unnoticed, as Casey concentrated on the game.  Her Autumnal hair fell gently around her face and her hawk-like eyes were trained on the TV.  Her full lips formed a gentle smile with no known cause.  Olivia suddenly felt awash in the younger woman's beauty and her stomach flipped.  Unconsciously, she licked her bottom lip.  
  
The hand between her thighs tightened as Casey squeezed.  "Unless you want to make a spectacle of us right here in the living room of my father's house," whispered Casey out of the side of her mouth, "don't do that again."  
  
Shocked, Olivia blinked.  "Do what?" she whispered back.  "What'd I do?"  
  
"You licked your bottom lip," explained Casey.  "It drives me crazy."  
  
"I did?"  Olivia hadn't even been aware of the action.  "It does?"  Casey's confession sent tingles all along Olivia's thighs.  She prayed that the young woman wouldn't move her hand again anytime soon lest she groan out loud with the sensation.  
  
"It does.  So knock it off."  
  
"For Christ's sake!" blurted Chris, exasperated.  "Both of you knock it off!  You need to get a room or something!  We're trying to watch the game here!"  
  
Julie put her hand over her eyes.  "And I used to wonder why everyone would say 'That's too bad' whenever I said I was dating him," she muttered.  "He has the romantic sensibility of a cuttlefish."  
  
"Hey!  I hear cuttlefish are _very_ romantic!" retorted Chris.  "The most romantic of their species!  You'd be _lucky_ to be dating a cuttlefish."  
  
"You don't even know what a cuttlefish is, Buttbrain, so shut up."  Julie crossed her arms over her chest.  "And leave your sister and her girlfriend alone."  She shot the women a goofy grin.  "I think it's cute."  
  
Olivia was just about to cover her face with her hands when Matt Novak entered the room.  "You think what's cute, Julie?" he asked.   
  
Both Olivia and Casey sent pleading looks Julie's way and she took pity on them.  
  
"I think it's cute...uh...how Chris and Casey still pick on each other though one's a high school history teacher and one's a lawyer in New York."  
  
"Hmph," grunted Matt.  "You have a strange definition of 'cute', if you ask me.  Sounds more like something I would define as 'annoying'."  He grinned at Chris's scowl and winked at Casey.  "Come on, girls, it's time to set the table.  Except for you, Olivia.  You're off the hook, as promised."  
  
Olivia stood, almost as much to follow Casey as to offer her assistance.  She missed the warmth of Casey's touch already.  "I was only kidding, sir.  I can help--"  
  
"Call me Matt, Olivia.  And I know you can help but you won't.  I honor the deals I make," he said, smiling.  "Besides...  Someone has to keep an eye on 'Buttbrain' here."  
  
"I could have sworn the name on my birth certificate read Christopher Allen Novak!"  
  
"And yet, son, we end up calling you 'Buttbrain' whenever Casey comes to visit.  I wonder why that is?"  Matt grinned at Chris then followed the girls into the dining room.  
  
"Because whenever I call her 'Little Miss Priss' she goes running to you!" called Chris after his father.    
  
Both of Olivia's eyebrows were hidden beneath her bangs, raised high in a combination of intrigue and surprise.  "'Little Miss Priss'?" she asked, trying not to laugh.  If Casey heard her...  "Mind if I use that?"  
  
Chris grinned.  "Be my guest."  
  
He took a long look at Olivia and his smile slowly faded.  He looked away finally, but only to locate the remote which he grabbed and used to lower the volume on the TV.  
  
Olivia instantly became alert and wary.  The mood had turned too serious too quickly.  She dropped back onto the loveseat.  
  
Chris turned to Olivia with eyes that were sad and searching, but not angry like she had feared.  
  
"Olivia, can I ask you a question?"  
  
The detective swallowed.  _Here it comes_ , she thought.  _The she-wasn't-gay-before-she-met-you speech...  
  
_ "Sure," she said, her voice sounding calmer than she would have expected under the circumstances.  
  
Chris leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees.  His wolf-pelt gray eyes bored into Olivia's mahogany ones.  
  
"Can you tell me what happened with Zergin?"  
  
For three seconds, Olivia was frozen solid.  This was not the question she was anticipating.  It was so much worse.  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, determined to answer no matter how hard it was to do so, how damning to her personally.  Casey's family deserved no less than the truth.  
  
"You're right," she said, resigned.  "I'm sorry, Chris.  I should have been there.  I should never have left her alone.  It was my fault--"  
  
"No!" said Chris, holding up his hands as if to stop a runaway train.  He looked more shocked than she imagined was possible.  "Olivia, no.  That's not what I was trying to say!  We don't--"  Casey's older brother took a deep breath of his own.  "I am making such a mess of this.  I'm sorry.  I just want to know why.  Why did he go after my little sister?  She came home after it happened.  She locked herself in her room and she cried.  She cried for _three days_ but she wouldn't tell us anything.  All we knew was what the papers said and they said nothing.  _Nothing._ "  His hands clenched into fists and Olivia knew the emotion that drove that action better than anyone else: the frustrated desire to protect.  "The bruises and the cane.  Her beautiful face, all black and blue...  And she wouldn't tell us what happened..."  
  
Olivia reached out and put a hand on his.  "He's a Muslim.  A devout member of a very strict sect.  His sister was the victim of a violent rapist and she was willing to testify.  Somehow the scumbag's lawyer found out about her and that she was an illegal.  She was going to be deported but Casey called in a favor with a friend down at Immigration.  She got the sister an emergency citizenship hearing but Nina had to tell everyone there what had happened to her.  In Zergin's sect, women must remain virgins until they are married.  If they don't--even if they are raped--it brings dishonor to their family.  Nina will never be allowed to marry and the men of her community will treat her and her brother as unclean."  Her hand tightened on Chris's even as she averted her eyes.  "Zergin thought that the only way to return honor to his family was to...to beat Casey for the part she took in encouraging Nina's confession."  
  
There were tears in Chris's eyes when she looked up at him.  "Beating an unarmed woman-- _my sister_ \--half to death brought honor to his family?  What kind of vindictive, pathetic excuse for a--"  He stopped himself before he said anything more.  He didn't understand a religion that would espouse something like that but he was aware enough to realize that maybe it was the follower and not the doctrine that was to blame.  "How long did he get?"  
  
"The maximum; ten years with no early release.  And when he's done, he's going to be deported.  He's not eligible for citizenship now.  We got the rapist, too."  She shook her head, wisps of her russet hair dancing around her face.  " I know it's not enough for what she went through.  I'm sorry."  
  
"Olivia?"  Chris cupped her hand in both of his.  "Maybe it's wrong to feel this way, I don't know.  All I know is that if she had to go through this, I'm glad you were there.  I'm glad you were there for her.  And so is Casey.  I see it.  I see it in her eyes whenever she looks at you."  He smiled a sweet, brotherly smile that made Olivia's heart clench in her chest.  "And I see it in your eyes whenever you look back."  
  
Olivia Benson would have laughed out loud if the moment wasn't so solemn.  Here she was, having a heart-to-heart with Casey's older brother and wanting to hug him so hard...  It was absolutely absurd to her mind.  The type of thing that happened in Sandra Bullock movies, not in real life.  Not to her.  Never to her.  
  
_Casey, why didn't you tell me I would love them back?  
  
\---  
  
_ Dinner was fabulous.  
  
The turkey was roasted to a juicy, tender perfection and was seasoned beautifully with fresh tarragon and sage and two Valencia oranges, quartered and pocketed in the cavity where normally stuffing would go.  In addition, there was crisp steamed broccoli flavored with garlic and olive oil, a string bean and roasted red pepper dish that Julie claimed was her favorite, roasted garlic mashed potatoes, sweet shoepeg corn, Julie's mother's sweet potato casserole that was topped with a cinnamon and toasted pecan crumble topping, and--last but not least--Colonel Novak's famous cornbread and sausage stuffing.  With the addition of two pies that Casey had bought at one of Manhattan's premiere bakeries and three bottles of Gamay Rouge which she herself had contributed, Olivia was sure that she had never eaten so much at one sitting in her entire life.  
  
She hadn't even wanted the second serving of stuffing she was offered but she would have felt guilty refusing it after the business with The Unholy Deal, as everyone was now calling it.  
  
Stuffed to the point of being uncomfortable, Olivia excused herself after the colonel divvied up the rest of the after-dinner chores.  She had tried, once again, to offer her help and, once again, her offer was declined.  Realizing that Casey had obviously inherited her stubborn streak from her father, Olivia didn't bother to protest and instead headed out a set of French doors that led to a snow-covered patio.  
  
She had donned her scarf and gloves over her turtleneck and sweater and found the abbreviated outfit just warm enough for a snowy twilight in Falls Church.  She brushed the powdery precipitation from a bench and sat down, looking out over an unbroken expanse of white to a pristine view of the Blue Ridge Mountains in the distance.  The cobalt blue of the coming night tumbled with the plums and peaches of the last of the sunlight and stars, like crystal snowflakes, winked on overhead.  
  
Clouds of her frozen breath wreathed around Olivia as she gazed out at the darkening landscape.  Just when she thought it could get no lovelier, a crescent moon rose over a copse of bare birch trees.  
  
"Aha!" said Matt Novak as he joined Olivia on the patio.  "I see you've found my second favorite place in the world."  He handed the detective a giant, steaming mug of coffee.  "Your Kona Blue Sky Peaberry, Private Reserve, as promised.  Casey told me you take it black.  The best way to drink coffee, if you ask me."  He swept a bit of snow from the other end of the bench and sat down, sipping from his own mug.  
  
"Second favorite place?" Olivia asked before taking a sip of the brew.  The dark, rich flavor of the coffee exploded in her mouth with the power of a grenade.  She would have moaned if not for the company.  As it was, she couldn't keep her opinion of it to herself.  "Oh God, that's good."  
  
Matt grinned.  "I knew you'd like it," he said, clearly pleased.  "You strike me as a woman of discriminating taste.  If your taste in women is any indication," he added.  He ignored Olivia's embarrassed blush and said, "As for my favorite place on Earth, it's a place that is beyond my reach.  In this lifetime, anyway.  It was being in the same room with my wife."  
  
Olivia frowned slightly.  "Casey told me that she was fairly young when your wife passed away.  That must have been terrible for all of you.  I'm so sorry for your loss."  
  
"You've had a similar loss of your own recently.  So Casey tells me.  Your mother?"  
  
Embarrassed, but now for a completely different reason, Olivia nodded.  "She died three years ago."  She did not share the circumstances of Serena Benson's death.  
  
"Hmm," hummed Matthew Novak.  He sipped from his coffee mug and looked out over the sparkling snow, his brows crowding over his eyes.  Finally, he spoke again.  "Olivia, I'd like to say something but I want you to promise you'll give an old man the chance to explain himself before you respond.  Can you do that for me?"  
  
The older woman swallowed hard.   _Is this the speech?  The you're-not-good-enough-for-my-little-girl speech?  No.  No, it can't be.  I know he likes me.  I_ know _he does.  God, what is it?  I hate feeling like this.  So out of my depth.  
  
_ Deciding that she wasn't going to find out what the colonel wanted to say without at least agreeing to his request, she gave the man an uncertain but game smile.  "I'll do my best, sir," she said.  
  
"Well.  From the tone of that promise, it seems I have an apology to make first," he smiled.  "I'm not going to turn you out of my home or ask you to stop seeing Casey, if that's what's got you tied up in knots, young lady.  First, I am enjoying your company far too much to ask you to go and secondly, I have no illusions about my influence on my daughter and her choice of partners.  If she has chosen you--and it seems she has--then I shouldn't have any say in the matter.  Except, in this case, to say that I heartily approve.  You can relax, Olivia."  
  
_Easy for you to say._ The detective sat there, numb for the second time with one of the colonel's compliments.  "Thank you, sir," she whispered and she tried to take his advice.  She took a steadying sip of the hot, caffeinated beverage in her hands and sighed.  
  
"What I'd like to do is make an offer to you.  Casey told me a little about your family circumstances."  The big man took a moment to look at Olivia, noting how she was instantly wary, how much she suddenly resembled a jackrabbit on high alert.  Opting for a back door into this discussion, Matt abruptly changed the subject.  "Did she tell you that I was in Vietnam?"  
  
"Yes, sir," said Olivia, nodding.  "You were a door gunner with the First Cavalry.  You flew combat and medical reconn missions on a Huey Gunship.  She's very proud of your service there."  
  
Pleased by the last, Matt gave her a tight smile.  "The hardest missions were the medical reconn missions.  Going into a battle situation to retrieve the wounded and the dead.  Bullets whizzing around your head like mosquitoes.  So much death.  So much destruction.  But the worst was when you had to go into a village.  Those villagers, especially the children.  With their big brown eyes, filled with terror, filled with anger, never knowing who they could trust or when they were going to die.  Every day I saw those eyes.  Every day for three years.  Terrorized children.  Angry, frustrated women.  The sad resignation of the old or the sick.  And when I left, I thought I'd never see those things in anyone's eyes ever again.  And I haven't."  He glanced at Olivia, his own eyes filled with such sorrow.  "Until today."  
  
Confused and unable to speak, Olivia averted the eyes to which he referred; the eyes she thought had offended.  She almost wanted to rip them out.   
  
"Please don't.  Don't hide them.  Don't be ashamed of them, Olivia.  They show me your strength along with your fears.  And I am not making this comparison as some sort of attack.  Far from it."  He took a deep breath and steeled himself for what he was about to say.  "You were dealt a mean life from what little I know about you, Olivia Benson.  An abusive mother.  Fathered by an act of violence.  And taking all of that pain and anger and confusion and making something so good out of it.  A detective in the SVU, fighting for justice for those victims the most in need.  Seeing every day the same darkness you grew up with and worse.  Seeing--every day--the depravity and perversion of the Human spirit."  He frowned deeply.  "It must hurt like fucking Hell."  
  
Laid bare and more vulnerable than she could ever remember being, Olivia could only agree with the colonel.  "It does," she said softly, too lost to even attempt to stop her own tears.  
  
"My wife, Ellen, would not have tolerated pain like that in someone's life.  Particularly not for someone connected to one of her children.  It's in that spirit that I make this offer to you, Olivia.  Regardless of your relationship with Casey.  Regardless--no-- _because_ of your upbringing."  He turned to the younger woman fully and looked her dead in the eyes.  "You need a home base, Olivia.  A place to come to where people are on your side; where you belong no matter what.  Where you can feel safe.  Where you don't have to wonder who you can trust.  _This_ place.  My home."  
  
He held up a hand to forestall her immediate response.  "This is not something I do lightly, Olivia.  And it's also not designed to make you feel beholden to my daughter in any way.  I know that this part of your relationship is new and that you are both taking it slow.  I appreciate that.  But my conscience won't allow me to stand by and watch while someone in need goes unaided.  Please, just consider it."  
  
Matt stood and gazed down at the detective and the streaks of moonlight that washed down her cheeks.  "Promise an old man at least that much."  
  
"I promise," she said, though she was so turned around she had no idea what the words even meant.  "Thank you," she added, purely as an afterthought.  
  
"No, thank you, Olivia.  Thank you."  He lay his rough hand on her shoulder for a moment then turned and walked back into the house, leaving Olivia alone with her tears and her thoughts.  
  
\---  
  
Casey was nearly frantic.  
  
It was almost nine o'clock and Olivia had not returned from her walk.  A walk she had gone on only shortly after a private discussion with Casey's father out on the back patio.  Casey had wanted to go along but the detective had quietly asked her to stay at the house, claiming a need to clear her mind.  Then without further explanation, she'd grabbed her coat and had headed out the door into the night and the unfamiliar neighborhood alone.  
  
Finished pacing for the moment, Casey stood in her childhood bedroom and picked a framed photograph up off the white desk she used to sit at for hours while she did homework or wrote in her journals.  The photograph was of herself and her mother.  She remembered the day it was taken as if it had been burned into her eyelids and tattooed on her skin.  She was eight and school had just let out for the summer--which meant Casey finally got her mother all to herself.  They were in the back yard "sunning", as Ellen Novak called it.  There was lemonade and freshly cut navel oranges on the patio table and Ellen had just finished putting Casey's unruly red tresses into a long French braid.  Casey, skinny, pale and freckled, was sitting in her mother's lap, giving her a great big hug while Ellen laughed.  Her father had snapped the picture while goading them both on, deepening Ellen's laughter while little Casey giggled.   
  
A year later, Casey's mother was gone; killed in a freak accident.  Ellen Novak was a sixth grade social studies teacher.  She and four of her students had been chosen to attend a conference on Civics in the Schools in Chicago and were flying there in a small engine plane when unexpected wind shear forced the plane down on a sunny, cloudless day.  There were no survivors.  
  
Casey traced her mother's photographic features with her fingers.  "I miss you, Mama," she whispered, wiping the dust from the edge of the frame.  She gazed at the photo for another moment then suddenly plunked it back onto the desk and turned away, swallowing the lump in her throat that threatened to blind her with tears.  She was already nervous and uncertain.  She didn't need to add maudlin grief to her mood, too.   
  
She crossed to the picture window and looked out on the snow blanketing the neighborhood.  She'd already said goodnight to her father sitting in his study and had changed into a modest pair of apricot-colored pajamas.  Chilled by the scenery and by her own worry, Casey hugged herself.  
  
_Where_ is _she?_ she wondered.  More than just concern, the physical ache of Olivia's absence made Casey's nerves feel shredded and jangled.  She knew she should be frightened by the feeling but she could only manage a vague sensation of queasiness that she understood, beyond a shadow of a doubt, would be cured by a single touch from Olivia Benson.  _Please come home.  
  
_ As if in answer to her silent prayer, a pair of icy arms encircled her waist and a chilly chin rested on her shoulder.  
  
"Hey," whispered Olivia as she tightened her embrace.  Casey's eyes fluttered shut with relief.  
  
"Hey, yourself."  She covered Olivia's hands with her own then promptly began to rub them in an effort to warm them.  She said nothing.  She knew Olivia well enough to know that whatever was going to be said had to be initiated by her.  Questions would send her running and that was absolutely the  _last_ thing Casey wanted.  
  
Finally, Olivia spoke.  "I'm sorry I was gone so long.  I just needed to...to think for a little while."  
  
"Did the thinking help whatever it is that's bothering you?"  Casey pressed herself back into Olivia's embrace, trying to convey her concern and how much she cared through the gentle action.  
  
"I wasn't bothered so much as caught off guard, but yes, the thinking helped."  Olivia nuzzled Casey's ear and dropped a frosty kiss just below it.  
  
"Good," breathed the ADA in response.  She loved being kissed there; so much so that it always took her breath away.  
  
When no more questions were forthcoming, Olivia frowned.  "Don't you want to know what's going on?" she asked, her voice caught in a snare somewhere between confusion and annoyance.  
  
Casey turned in Olivia's arms and hugged her tightly.  "More than anything.  I've been pacing for an hour.  But I know you'll tell me when you're ready.  I'll just have to be patient until then."  She pulled back to smile down at the older woman and almost yelped.  "Oh my God!  Olivia, your lips are blue!  You've got to get out of those clothes _right now_."  Casey began tugging at the detective's sweater without a single thought as to how the action might be interpreted. Olivia chuckled.  
  
"If I didn't know any better, Counselor, I'd think you were trying to have your way with me."  
  
Casey frowned even as she blushed.  "Off," she hissed.  "All of it needs to come off!  Hot shower!  Right now!"  
  
"Case, honey, I'm fine!  I'll warm up in a minute.  I always do.  I'm from New York, remember?"  Casey's obstinance on this point was perplexing.  
  
The redhead pushed the door to her unbearably pink bathroom open and pointed.  "I'm not going to tell you again.  Hot shower, Detective.  Now."  
  
Laughing, Olivia raised her hands in defeat.  "Okay, okay!  I surrender.  One hot shower it is."  She raised a wickedly arched eyebrow.  "Care to join me?"  
  
Casey's blush battled the bathroom for the title of The Pinkest Thing in the House.  "If I said yes, Olivia, you'd swallow your tongue.  Now stop stalling.  I'll bring you some towels, your pajamas, and your bathroom things, okay?"  As Olivia passed her on the way into the bubble gum room, the attorney leaned just close enough to whisper, "We still have four more days of vacation left and I want you healthy for all of them."  Her tone was both husky and suggestive and Olivia felt warmer immediately.  She turned toward Casey and was rewarded with a flirty wink before the younger woman disappeared.  
  
_I am never going to survive this,_ she thought ruefully as she watched Casey walk away, her hips swaying in just that perfectly delicious motion that always-- _always_ \--made Olivia feel as if she'd been rammed in the gut by a mountain goat.  _Nope.  Never in a million years.  
  
\---  
  
_ Olivia emerged from the cotton candy bathroom thirty minutes later, viciously scrubbing at her damp hair with a towel.  Finally finished, she gave her head a shake and tugged at her hair with long fingers.  When she opened her eyes, she found Casey sitting with her back braced against the headboard of the bed, long legs clad in shimmering apricot stretched out in front of her and crossed at the ankles.  The young woman was deeply absorbed in the contents of a manila file folder, biting her bottom lip in concentration as she paged slowly through what looked to be depositions and crime scene photos.  
  
Suddenly the room faded in and out of time, shifting in color and place and age while Olivia imagined this single scene over and over.  Casey at 14, her hair in short pig tails standing straight up from her head as she read from a high school textbook.  Casey at 20, her long hair held back by a plastic circlet as she read and re-read a paper due at the end of break, carefully marking passages in either green or yellow highlighter depending on what she wanted to change about them.  Casey at 40, her auburn locks braided demurely down her back, faint laugh lines crinkling into existence as she read from a letter held in her hands.  Casey at 60, her silver-cinnamon hair cut shorter and tucked neatly behind her ears as she adjusted her reading glasses so she could better see the motions to be presented in her latest case before the supremes.  
  
Olivia shook her head again, relieved when the here and now returned into sharp focus.  Quietly she joined Casey on the bed, sitting next to her while still clinging to the damp towel.   
  
"Hey," she said softly, closing the file in Casey's lap.  "No work, remember?  Your father's orders.  He's a colonel so he outranks Branch."  
  
Casey sighed deeply, a gentle frown forming between her brows.  "I know.  It's just the Marshall case.  There's something not right there.  Something that's bothering me but I can't put my finger on it."  She tossed the closed file onto the night stand.  "I don't know."  
  
"We'll figure it out when we get back, okay?  If Munch hasn't beaten us to it, that is."  Olivia brushed a few strands of Autumn gold out of Casey's eyes.  "I don't know about you," she continued, her eyes twinkling, "but going against your father's orders isn't something I want to risk."  
  
Casey laughed and scooted over on the bed, pulling Olivia with her.  The two of them gazed at one another for a long moment and just when it seemed like Casey would lean in to kiss Olivia, she spoke instead.  
  
"Did he say something to upset you?" she asked, laying her warm hand on the detective's cheek.  "Did he give you some sort of weird 'Do right by my girl' speech or something?"  Anger bubbled up into the younger woman's voice.  "He did, didn't he?  I'll kill him--"  
  
"No!  Casey, he didn't!  I thought he was going to but that's not what he...had in mind.  He told me he approves of me...of us...together."  
  
"Then what?  Olivia, what did he say that sent you out there in the cold for so long?"  
  
The older woman looked away, focusing her attention on the looped edge of the cotton towel instead of on Casey's darkening eyes.  "You told him about me...didn't you?  About my mother.  About my...father."  
  
Casey's voice trembled and she pulled away from Olivia, fearing what might come next.  Betrayal.  Anger.  Rejection.  "Yes," she said.  "But only what you told me.  And I told no one else."  
  
Confused by the sudden chill in the room, Olivia looked up at Casey and saw immediately the shadow that crossed her features and clouded her eyes.  The joyous light she'd seen in those emerald depths all day was retreating fast, this new distance between them swallowing it up, expanding with every breath.  Without thinking, the older woman grasped Casey's hands, hoping that physical closeness would somehow erase the chasm that had opened up between them.  
  
She shook her head.  "Casey, don't.  I'm not angry.  I'm not.  I was going to thank you...as weird as that sounds."  
  
Still wary, Casey at least halted her emotional retreat, intrigued by Olivia's declaration.  "Thank me," she repeated, not sure exactly what was going on.  
  
"Yeah.  Well, you and your father.  He said I needed a 'home base', a place to belong and where the people were always on my side.  Here, he said.  His home.  And though he didn't say it outright, I know what he's offering  me is...well...a family.  The kind of family I've never really had.  Different from Elliot and Kathy's holiday charity; different from the squad."  
  
Casey swallowed uneasily.  This, she knew, was just the type of thing to send Olivia back into her shell and though she loved her father for his huge heart and his ability to say what was on his mind, she also felt like she could brain him with a turkey leg.  _Dammit, Daddy!  What were you_ thinking _?_   But she already knew the answer to that:  _There's something wrong that I can do something about so I'd better get on with it._   Her father was famous for that kind of approach to things.  She suspected it was his military training.  
  
"What did you say to him?" she asked, trying not to imagine the awkward scene it had to have been.  
  
"I said 'thank you'.  I said I'd consider it."  
  
Casey took a small, surprised sip of air into her lungs and held it lest she accidentally burst the bubble that was pretending to be Olivia Benson.  "And what--if anything--did you decide?"  Why did she feel like she was cross-examining a jittery witness?  
  
Olivia smiled gently.  "I decided that even if I'm not quite ready to be adopted, I kinda like having an open invitation.  Especially to this family."  
  
Casey just stared.  One heartbeat, then two, then four went by.  Finally she forced herself to speak.  "Good to know."  She tried for indifferent nonchalance but somehow only managed squeaky relief.  
  
Olivia grinned.  "Come here, Counselor," she whispered as she tugged Casey into her arms.  She captured Casey's trembling lips with her own and softly parted them, kissing the attorney deeply.  She gently pushed forward until Casey was beneath her, head nested in the plethora of pillows that had formerly been waiting for sleepy inhabitants.  Casey wound her arms around Olivia's neck and held on, finding it difficult to weather the tumultuous passion now thrumming through her body.  Unwilling to break the dance of their mouths and tongues, Casey rolled with Olivia until the older woman was beneath her.  Breathless, she pulled away from the Heaven that was Olivia's kiss and arched her back.  Her hips ground deliciously--and dangerously--into Olivia's.  Both women groaned.  
  
"We can't," whispered the detective urgently, even though her hands apparently had minds of their own and had slipped under Casey's top, kneading the muscles of her back and sides with hedonistic abandon.  
  
"Oh God, why not?"  Casey straddled Liv, lowering herself until she could hungrily claim those cranberry-stained lips again.  The heat of the joining of their mouths detonated a nuclear need in them both and they were nearly engulfed in the resultant inferno.  Nearly.  
  
"Casey," panted the detective as she bared her throat to the younger woman's insistent attentions.  "Casey, we have to stop."  
  
"Stop what?" breathed the ADA as her mouth continued its burning wet path of desire unleashed.  She was just about to lay claim to one of Olivia's tightening nipples through the thin fabric of her cami when Olivia made a last ditch effort to calm them both down.  
  
"We're in your father's house!" she hissed.  
  
The words were as effective as a bucket of ice water thrown directly in the redhead's face.  Her eyes still glazed with molten arousal, she reared back, stunned.  She held herself above Olivia and looked down at the older woman, her lungs heaving, until the words finally sunk in.  Then she looked over her shoulder at the unimpressive door to her childhood bedroom.  Though closed, it held no promise of keeping noise in or out of the room.  Neither did the thin walls, for that matter.  
  
"Jesus Christ!"  She rolled off of Olivia and collapsed next to her, hiding her face behind both hands.  "This is impossible!  I want you so badly, I can't stand--"  A thought, silvery and as sharp as a needle, shot through her lust-addled brain.  "The car.  We can drive to that parking lot!  It'll be deserted and--"  
  
Olivia laughed and rolled the younger woman into her arms, holding her gently but securely.  "Shhhh, Casey.  We're not going anywhere right now, okay?  And there's no way in Hell I'm going to allow our first time to happen in the back seat of a rental car!"  
  
"But why not?"  Casey was close to frustrated tears and wasn't thinking clearly.  All she could feel was the need that leeched the strength from her bones and paralyzed her muscles.  Her head throbbed and her skin tingled almost painfully.   Her fingers twitched and trembled, aching to touch Olivia everywhere.  She was sick with it; sick with the absolutely overwhelming certainty of her desire.  She bit her lip to keep herself from crying out.  
  
Olivia recognized this state; was in fact suffering it, too.  She tightened her hold on Casey and spooned her from behind, whispering in her ear.  
  
"Because, sweetie, then your father really _will_ kill me.  Unless your brother gets to me first."  She pressed her lips to the back of Casey's head and kissed her sweetly.  "Besides," she admitted softly, "I don't want our first time to be something hurried and hidden.  I want to take my time with you.  I want to make love to you.  And I don't want to run away afterward."  
  
Casey turned in Liv's arms and searched her mahogany eyes for the truth behind those words.  It sparkled back at her, bright and unapologetic.  
  
"Okay," she said simply, but the word was more a vow than an agreement.  
  
After a long moment in which their eyes conversed like lovers in a quiet corner of a dark and romantic restaurant, Olivia said, "We need to change the subject.  Now."  There was no room for compromise and she knew it.  Another minute and she wouldn't care if Matthew Novak came after her with an M-16.  
  
"Yes."  Casey blinked twice and pulled away from Olivia, putting about a foot of space between their bodies.  The two of them lay flat on their backs and stared at the stuccoed ceiling.  After a minute, they entwined hands.  "Change the subject.  Good idea."   
  
They continued to stare at the ceiling for a while, listening to each other's breathing until finally Casey thought of a question to ask.  An innocent question.  One not related to the possibility of kissing Olivia until she drowned in ecstasy.  
  
"So what did you and Buttbrain talk about this afternoon?  You know, while Julie and I set the table."  
  
Olivia didn't know whether to laugh or groan.  _Wrong subject, honey._   "You don't want to know."  
  
"Yes, I do."  She cast a worried glance at the detective.  "I want to know even more now.  Spill it."  
  
"You really don't, honey.  Trust me."  
  
"Olivia Benson," said Casey, sounding eerily like an irritated mother.  "Tell me right now."  
  
The older woman took a deep breath.  _Well, you asked,_ she thought.   
  
"Milan Zergin."  
  
The explosion was immediate and spectacular, like the brandy in a pan of Cherries Jubilee catching fire.  
  
"WHAT?"  Casey sat bolt upright and gaped at Olivia.  "Oh my GOD!  I'm having a nightmare, right?  Right?  Because this is _not_ happening!"  
  
"I'm sorry," apologized Liv.  She sat up next to the flustered young woman and tried to catch her eye.  "He was just worried.  He didn't understand why it happened.  He loves you so much, honey.  Not knowing was killing him.  He needed to know."  She waited for her words to sink in.  "You need to tell him what happened yourself.  You both need to put it behind you."  
  
Casey wiped an errant tear from her cheek but still managed an ironic chuckle.  "Hello, pot?  Kettle calling.  You're black."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Casey cupped Olivia's face in her hands.  "You need to put it behind you, too.  Stop blaming yourself.  You couldn't protect me.  Hell, I couldn't protect myself and I had a baseball bat."  She rested her forehead against the detective's.  "I never blamed you, you know.  Never.  And the only game of 'what if' I played was 'What if Olivia hadn't been the one to find me?'"  
  
Olivia closed her eyes against the memory.  Opening the office door.  The scent of fresh coffee wafting up from the cups she was holding.  Turning on the light.  Finding Casey on the floor, her sunrise hair splayed around her head, mottled with blood.  
  
"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered.  "I wasn't ready for that."  
  
"Apparently neither was I," joked Casey.  When it didn't have the desired effect, she kissed Olivia's forehead then pulled back to look her in the eye.  "I'll make you a deal," she offered.  "I'll talk to Chris about what happened if you'll stop blaming yourself for not being there.  Okay?  Deal?"  
  
Olivia looked up and found herself captivated by Casey's easy smile.  Unable to stop her answering grin, she said, "Okay.  But on one condition."  
  
"Uh oh.  Look out.  We've created a monster," laughed the redhead.  "What condition?"  
  
"That you convince your father that it really is necessary for us to stay in the city for the rest of the weekend, even though we'll be happy to share any meals or other touristy activities he may wish to participate in."  She leaned closer to Casey's ear and growled, "Because if I don't get you into a bed that is outside your childhood home soon, I am not going to be responsible for my actions."  She punctuated the statement with a sexy nip below Casey's ear which caused the explosive decompression of the young woman's lungs.  
  
"I promise to explain it to him in persuasive detail tomorrow," she breathed, then quickly amended, "Tomorrow _morning_."  She bit her bottom lip for a brief second then ordered, "Now kiss me."  
  
"Mmm.  My pleasure."   
  
And Olivia did.  Kissed Casey over and over until, exhausted by the day and their frustrated desire, they fell asleep entwined in one another's arms.  


* * *

"Here.  Let me."  
  
Olivia took the delicate gold chain from Casey's trembling fingers and unclasped it, her unexpected dexterity belying her all-consuming need.  She handed the chain and its charm to the redhead who laid it on the ebony dresser in front of her.  
  
Dinner downstairs at the inn's four star restaurant had been a frustrating experience for Casey.  Liv had arranged it and had meant for it to be romantic, no doubt.  And it had been!  But every time Liv had lifted another gourmet morsel of food to her mouth with her sterling silver fork, Casey had been reminded how much happier she would have been with a slice of cold pizza and a warm Coke if only that had meant she'd spent the preceding two hours licking something--champagne, chocolate, a nice merlot; it wouldn't have mattered--off every inch of Olivia Benson's beautiful body. 

Now back in their warm room with the ghost of Olivia's touch cooling at the nape of her neck, Casey's heart pounded in her chest with the urgency of a red alert klaxon.  When she felt Olivia press her lips softly to the curve of her shoulder, she almost fell apart on the spot.  
  
"Olivia," she breathed, stark longing and desire present in the simple exhalation.  
  
"Shhh..." hushed the older woman.  Slowly, she unclasped the catch between the younger woman's shoulder blades and brought her hands up to brush the straps of the little black dress from milky shoulders that glowed in the amber firelight.  "Don't let it drop just yet," she whispered, leaning distractingly close to the attorney.  Close enough, in fact, that the spicy-musky scent she wore made Casey's mouth water.  "I want to see you."  
  
Casey swallowed heavily and nodded, too unsure of her voice to say anything.  She felt Olivia's fingers drop to the small of her back in order to release the tiny zipper there and then she felt herself gently turned so that she was facing the detective and her smoldering eyes.  She held her arms crossed over her torso, knowing that when she relaxed them the dress would simply fall to the burnished hardwood floor, unwanted and unnecessary.   
  
Olivia stepped back and let her gaze linger on the young attorney.  Casey was, very simply, the picture of tender vulnerability and want.  Slowly...hungrily...Liv took in everything.  Casey's pale, bare shoulders, the way she clutched the slackened fabric of her dress to her body, her long legs, the shimmering desire in her dark jade eyes...  The older woman was completely captivated.    
  
"Let it go, Casey," she ordered softly.  
  
The redhead didn't hesitate.  She never took her eyes from Olivia as she dropped her arms to her sides, letting her dress flutter to the floor with a _swish_.  Olivia's only outward reaction was a slight widening of her eyes and a sharp intake of breath.  Something in the detective coalesced in that moment and the very air around her seemed to change.  It was as if she somehow became sharper and more defined.  A tiny, almost predatory smile dusted her lips and she took two deceptively leisurely steps closer to the counselor.  
  
"God," she whispered.  She licked her bottom lip in anticipation.  "Gorgeous."  
  
Unable to tear her eyes away, Liv tenderly cupped Casey's breasts in her warm hands and lowered her mouth to one dusky and swiftly tightening nipple.  
  
"Ungh..."  Casey threw her head back as soon as she felt Olivia's searing tongue curl around her pebbled flesh.  "Liv..."  Her long red tresses whispered along her spine.  
  
Olivia blessed the other nipple with her attentions before slowly descending Casey's body, worshipping as she went.  She dragged her fingers lightly over skin that shimmered with goosebumps.  She nipped at tender places just below Casey's ribcage and swirled her tongue into the shallow vessel that was her navel.  Taking a deep, steadying breath, she hooked her thumbs in the thin straps of the attorney's lurid green panties and pulled, slowly lowering them to reveal the beauty that lay beneath.  
  
Lured like a moth to flame, Olivia leaned forward and pressed small, burning kisses to the seductive place where Casey's inner thigh met her hip.  
  
Her voice shaking, Casey pleaded with the detective.  "P-please, Liv.  Bed."  She took a steadying breath of her own.  "Can't s-stand."   
  
Olivia grinned at the younger woman from her kneeling position and quickly unbuckled the straps on her sexy black heels.  Carefully, she helped Casey step out of them and the tangle of dress and panties beneath her feet.  Then, moving faster than Casey thought was possible, Liv stood, wound her fingers in Casey's silky hair and plundered her lips and mouth with a kiss designed to lay waste to whatever strength the attorney might have had left.  
  
When she pulled away, she grasped the younger woman's hands in her own and began to pull her towards the big bed.  "I'll help you," she whispered against the alabaster skin of Casey's long, leonine throat.  Before either of them knew it, they were at the edge of the bed and Olivia turned with Casey in her arms and tumbled her into its luxurious depths.  
  
She fell into Casey's intoxicating embrace like a woman dying of thirst.  Heat like she had never known immolated her to her very core and she raged over Casey's body, pale and fine like desert sand, divining for the sweet, cool relief of her lover's liquid release.   
  
"Want you..."  Blinded by her desperation, she didn't even realize that she was still fully clothed.  
  
Casey, however, was keenly aware of that fact and she began to tug at Liv's starched white shirt, as bright and relentless as the noonday Sun.  "Need to feel you..." she begged and Olivia--as lost as she was--heard Casey's plea and slowed down only long enough to pull her shirt and the white cami beneath it straight over her head, discarding both with an utter lack of conscious thought.  
  
Casey was absolutely struck dumb by the sight before her, as if caught unawares by the revelation of the Divine in the wilderness.  She rose from the bed with a hiss of pleasure like morning dew made steam by the gaze of The Eye of Heaven and captured Liv's lips in a boiling kiss.  Her fingers fumbled with the button holding the detective's black tuxedo slacks to her body.  Impatient to the point of carelessness, she almost tore the button from its mooring before she finally unfastened it.  She made short work of the zipper and began pushing the fabric off Liv's hips.  
  
Olivia's hands joined in the quest to rid her body of the last of her clothing and soon she was finally bare to Casey's touch.  Pulling away from their mouths' ecstatic connection, Casey could have wept.  
  
"Oh, God..."  It was all she had the strength to say.  
  
With hands made deft by deepest need, she cupped and cradled and caressed; she touched and teased and tempted until she was filled with awe-tinged hunger.  She raised turned copper eyes bright with lust and locked gazes with Olivia.  
  
"Take me," she ordered, her soft voice edged with steel.  "Take me now, Olivia.  I want you inside me."  She licked her bottom lip.  "I want you to make me scream."  
  
Together they fell back to the bed, hands clutching, bodies entwining, mouths kissing and biting and soothing the marks that stung.  Like rushing flood waters seeking their own level, they raced for the depths until the whole world stilled, balancing precariously in Olivia's hand as she cupped Casey for a long, breathless moment.  Then slowly--ever so slowly--she entered the younger woman.  She had her other arm wrapped securely around Casey's curvaceous hips and she rested her burning forehead against the redhead's taut stomach.  
  
Olivia groaned as her eyes fluttered closed.  
  
"You're so wet," she breathed, pressing kisses into and around Casey's navel.  She delved deeper, letting the liquescent incandescence of her lover's secret places suffuse her, drowning in their molten recesses.  She wanted to stay there, still and golden, forever...  And she would have if not for Casey's quiet plea.  
  
"Olivia, please...  Need you...  Now..."  
  
Her hips rolled beneath Liv's touch like the soft sea, seeking her salvation, her satiation from those long fingers.  Olivia matched Casey's rocking heartbeat for heartbeat.  She held tight, clutching the redhead's waist like a shipwreck survivor clutching the last of her hope in the dark waters.  
  
"Casey..."  Olivia hid her face against her lover's heaving belly then turned without warning and bit the spot where Casey's hipbone flared.  Casey cried out with the flash of sensual pain and as quickly as it burned, it was soothed by Olivia's sweet, soft mouth.  The brunette increased her pace until the two of them were made whirlwind and their blood howled in their ears.  
  
"Liv...  Yes..."  Casey's voice was tight, strained.  She struggled to keep from being flayed alive by Olivia's passion, from having her bones shatter in the wake of Olivia's powerful touch unleashed.  She tangled her fingers in her lover's dark locks and held on, her whole world fusing into one whirling, cacophonic maelstrom until finally it broke apart into jagged, flaming pieces that seemed to herald the end of Everything.  
  
Casey screamed.  
  
Olivia's own catastrophic release followed on the heels of Casey's, triggered by the young woman's unrelenting aftershocks.  They vibrated through their intimate connection all the way to the brunette's core like a devastating surge of power, her body the willing conduit.  She lay entwined with her lover and gulped air into her tortured lungs.  
  
When she was finally able to move again, to see again, she slowly unwound herself from Casey's embrace and reached up to capture the attorney's passion-bruised full lips in a heartbreaking kiss.  
  
"Are you okay?" she asked softly when they separated.  She sifted strands of red-gold through gentle fingers.  
  
Instead of answering, Casey responded with her own question.  "Are you?"  Her emerald eyes were so bright, so clear, Olivia might have sworn under oath that they were forged from gemstone and not real at all.  
  
"Yeah," she said, grinning beautifully.  She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the corner of Casey's mouth.  "I'm perfect."  
  
Casey searched Liv's bark-brown eyes for any hint of uncertainty and found none.  She smirked at her lover and said, "Well, duh!  Tell me something I don't already know."  
  
Olivia glanced at Casey briefly, an unreadable expression coloring her features.  Finally she took a deep breath.  
  
"Okay," she said with only a hint of disquiet in her voice.  "I'm in love with you."  
  
\---  
  
_Olivia slowly walked down the center aisle of the dimly lit room.  Depressing organ music played softly in the background and the air was thick with the cloying perfume of dozens of lilies, tastefully arranged and displayed around the chapel.  
  
Elliot and Fin stood quietly talking half way down the aisle but as she approached them they stopped and Elliot sneered viciously at her.  
  
"Nice work, Partner," he ground out through a clenched jaw, clearly disgusted.   
  
"Why's she even here?" snorted Fin and together the two men turned their backs on her.  
  
Stung and confused, Olivia continued on.  She wondered whose funeral it was, whether or not she knew the victim.  Clearly Elliot and Fin did.  
  
She encountered Cragen next and he was consoling an obviously grieving Munch.  Amy Solway?  Maybe John's friend had finally succumbed to her debilitating disease.  As she moved to offer her colleague her own comfort, Cragen stepped in front of her.  
  
"He doesn't want to talk to you, Olivia.  Just go."  
  
She started to protest, to ask why, to ask what she had done, but Cragen shook his head.  "Go, Olivia.  It's better this way."  
  
The lump in Olivia's throat burned fiercely and she felt tears begin to gather in her eyes though she was determined not to let them fall.  Why were her friends so angry with her?  What had she done that she couldn't remember doing?  She stumbled on and found herself standing beside Arthur Branch who was shaking his head sadly.  
  
"She told me after her first case that she didn't want the job.  I told her she would.  That I'd chosen her especially for the position.  And just when she started to really want it, this happens."  The big man turned and looked at Olivia, his face a mask of scorn.  "I hope you're happy, Detective," he spat and he walked away.  
  
Olivia watched him go, stunned by his harsh words.  She turned back toward the casket but couldn't bring herself to take the necessary steps to continue toward it.  Who could he mean?  Who had he chosen and for what position?   
  
A flash of red caught her mind's eye and she turned, looking for the owner of those Autumn tresses amongst the other mourners.  Her eyes darted around the room, searching for that face, for those turned-copper eyes.  She was nowhere to be found.  Except...  
  
Standing by themselves in a tight knot of familial despair were Matt and Chris Novak and Julie Roberts.  Julie's face was streaked with tears but her eyes were filled with hatred.  Even still, they were not as hard and as merciless as the twin looks given her by the colonel and his son.  Chris's face was red with rage and he took a menacing step toward Olivia only to be stopped by his father.  Once Matthew Novak had his son under control, he turned and made the short journey to where the detective stood himself.   
  
For a long moment, he said nothing.  Only stood at attention as his eyes became cruel and implacable.  
  
Finally, he said one thing.  "It should have been you."  Then he turned and walked away, gathering what was left of his family in his arms as he wept openly for his crushing loss.  
  
Reluctantly, Olivia turned back toward the casket.  Bile rose in her throat and bitter tears welled in her eyes.  She knew then.  Knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the name of the deceased.  But still she couldn't make herself believe.  
  
She thought, _ If I stand here and don't look...  If I never look, it's not real.  She's still here.  She's still with me.  If I never look.  
  
_"Oh, you'll look," said a viciously dark voice.  Involuntarily, the brunette turned towards it.  She wiped away her tears as if afraid to have them discovered.  
  
"Mother?"  
  
Serena Benson snarled a grotesque version of a smile and raised a glass to her daughter, clear liquid sloshing over its side.  "The one and only."  
  
Olivia looked back at the casket, noting dispassionately the cream-colored satin lining the inside of the lid.  "I can't look, Mother."  
  
"Maybe not.  But you will.  After all, this is your fault.  All your fault."  When Olivia turned pleading, desperate eyes toward her, she laughed.  "What?" she asked, taking another drink from her never empty glass.  The ice tinkled as she moved and it sounded like gunshots and screams to the detective.  "What were you expecting?  It _ is _your fault, daughter mine.  Everything is your fault.  My whole horrible, useless life was YOUR FAULT!  NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"  
  
Serena Benson lunged at Olivia and shoved her forward.  The younger woman lost her balance and found herself catching it on the edge of the open casket.  Unable to look anywhere else, she looked down.  Down at Casey Novak, her eyes open and haunted, bruises and cuts marring her once perfect face.  A shattered cut-crystal vase lay on her chest and a dozen red roses, their blooms crushed and stained with black blood, lay strewn around her.  Her dead eyes sought out Olivia.  
  
"You left me alone to die," she accused softly, her voice hollow and empty.  "You left me all alone."  
  
"No!"  
  
_ "NO!"  
  
Olivia bolted straight up in the unfamiliar bed.  Sweat beaded on her forehead and her tortured lungs once again gasped for air, this time out of fear and not carnal satisfaction.  She tried to shake the nightmare images from her vision but instead found herself hugging her knees to her bare torso as she stared into the distance, still caught somewhere in the dream.  
  
She didn't feel Casey Novak's arms around her.  
  
"Liv?  Honey, it's okay.  It was just a nightmare.  Just a dream."  
  
Casey's voice was soft and soothing despite the terrified pounding of her heart.  Soundly and blissfully asleep in the cradle of their new intimacy, she was completely unprepared for Olivia's gut-wrenching cry in the dark.  She tried to calm her breathing, to hide her own fear while attempting to quiet her lover's.  Soon she realized her efforts were having no effect...on either of them.  
  
"Honey?  Liv, look at me.  Look at me."  Trembling herself, Casey held the smaller woman tightly, her warm, dry hands briskly rubbing the detective's arms as if to ward off a chill.    
  
"Casey?"  Even though she was calling for her, Olivia was not consciously aware of her lover's presence.  The spoken name was a frightful thing, broken and desolate, like a dove dying in the soft grass below a plate-glass window.  Whichever Casey she saw, it was not the beautiful woman next to her becoming more and more unsettled as the moment wore on.  
  
"Yes, Casey.  It's Casey.  Please look at me.  Olivia."  The younger woman cupped the brunette's face in her hands and tried to turn her.  She failed utterly.  "Olivia," she snapped.  "Wake up right now!"  
  
Something in that tone--the desperation, maybe, or the crack of command--broke through Olivia's nightmarish prison and she took a sudden deep breath.  Blinking, she turned toward her lover, her stiffened limbs melting into the younger woman's embrace before she even realized what she was doing.  
  
"Shhh," hushed the redhead as she rocked Olivia gently.  "I'm right here."  
  
For ten blissful seconds Olivia soaked up Casey's tenderly offered comfort before the dream began to creep back into her mind, souring the sweetness of it.  Embarrassed and emotionally uncomfortable, Olivia struggled to free herself from the counselor's embrace.  
  
"I'm fine," she said by way of explanation but she couldn't meet Casey's eyes when she said it.  "I'm okay."  
  
The ADA shook her head.  "No you aren't.  Liv, was it--?  Do you wake up that way a lot?"  Concern flooded her voice but Olivia, defensive and wary, mistook it for pity.  
  
"It's nothing, Casey.  Don't worry about it."  She began to turn, intending to roll over and go back to sleep if she could.  Casey did not let her.  
  
"It is _not_ nothing, Olivia," countered the young woman angrily, stopping her.  "You're as white as a sheet.  You sat bolt upright in this bed and wouldn't respond to me.  That's _not_ nothing."  Casey looked at the older woman for a long moment, gauging her next words and actions carefully.  Finally she leaned forward and gingerly put her arms around Olivia's rigid body.  Gently, she rested her chin on one bronze shoulder.  "Are they about work?" she asked quietly.  The anger in her voice had faded away.  "Do you have nightmares like that every night?"  
  
_What are you going to do, Benson?_ Liv asked herself.  _You said you loved her and--miracle of miracles--she says she loves you back.  Are you going to let a stupid nightmare ruin that?  
  
_ "Not...every night, no," whispered the detective.  "Most but not all."  
  
Viscerally aware that she'd just entered an emotional mine field, Casey trod as carefully as she ever had.  "Are they about work?"  She had moved closer to her lover and now had one arm wrapped around her waist.  She rubbed circles on Liv's belly, hoping to soothe her.  
  
Olivia sighed.  The last thing she wanted to do was to burden Casey with this idiotic weakness.  The _very last thing_ she wanted to do was to admit the content of this particular nightmare and the real reason she'd been having it--or a version of it--since the first time she'd closed her eyes that night in the hospital with Casey.  
  
"Please talk to me, Olivia," pleaded Casey.  She tightened her arms around her lover and brushed her lips over her shoulder.  "I love you.  I want to help if I can."  
  
Olivia didn't think Casey could help her with this particular affliction but...   _What did you tell Elliot?  She makes you want to make things different?  So make them different, Benson.  Here's your chance.  
_  
"Sometimes they're about work, yeah," she admitted quietly.  
  
"Sometimes," repeated the young redhead.  "But not this time?"   
  
Olivia shook her head but wouldn't say anymore.  
  
Something in her older lover's reluctance made Casey suspicious and she sighed.  "Zergin," she muttered.  She didn't know how she knew but she did.  Would it ever end?  She herself had stopped having nightmares about that night right around the time Kyle Ackerman had held a gun to her head in court.  Apparently the shock of the one had disrupted the terrible routine of the other and most of her dreams--when she dreamt at all now--were either a discordant rehashing of whatever awful case she was working on or a chaotic farce reminiscent of a performance of Cirque de Soleil put on by schizophrenics.  Either way, it was a relief.   
  
"Tell me," she whispered.  
  
Olivia shook her head again.  "It was...  You were...  It was my fault.  That's all.  My fault."  
  
Casey frowned.  "You know that isn't true.  Liv, you weren't there--"  
  
"I should have been there!  I shouldn't have left you--"  
  
"You went to get us coffee!  You couldn't have known!"  
  
Olivia let her head fall forward.  "That's not why I left," she said, her voice so low that Casey almost couldn't hear her.  "It...  It was the flowers."  
  
Casey's frown deepened and became more confused.  "The flowers?  What about them?"  
  
Suddenly it all seemed ridiculous to Olivia.  Leaving Casey's office so she didn't have to see the ADA's reaction to the flowers?  So she didn't have to find out who they were from and how Casey felt about that person as it happened?  So she didn't have to smile and "make nice" while burning with jealousy?   
  
_Fucking stupid reasons to leave her alone, Benson.  Fucking stupid reasons to almost lose her.  
  
_ She chuckled to herself under her breath, a derisive and self-accusatory sound.  Realization dawned for Casey at that moment.  
  
"You were jealous."  She wanted to laugh with the absurdity of it all but she knew better.  Instead she held Olivia more tightly.  "You were jealous and there I was, wishing they were from you." _  
_  
Slowly, Olivia turned to look at Casey.  "You were?"  
  
Casey nodded, smiling as she pressed a kiss to Olivia's bare shoulder.  "We're quite a pair, aren't we, Detective?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  Olivia did not see the source of the counselor's amusement.  
  
"We didn't kiss for the first time until almost four months after that night.  What took us so long?"  
  
Olivia Benson didn't know whether to laugh or hit something.  Why wasn't Casey more concerned?  She'd left her alone to face Zergin because of some _flowers_ , for God's sake!  Why wasn't she angry?  
  
_If I'd only kept it together that night, I would have shot that fuck before he ever laid a finger on her.  And she acts like she couldn't care less.  
  
_ "Casey, you're--"  
  
"--not taking this seriously enough?" finished the young woman, raising one delicate eyebrow at her lover.  "Don't you think you're doing that enough for the both of us?"  Before Liv could protest further, Casey gently tipped the older woman's chin toward her and captured her lips in a deep and tender kiss.  When they parted, she nuzzled Olivia's cheek.  
  
"Let it go," she ordered softly.  She twined her body around the older woman seductively, her brief kisses intended less to comfort and more to entice.  "For me, Olivia.  You did nothing wrong and I won't give up who I am now, what Zergin made me, to save myself a few bruises and a split lip."  
  
As spellbound as she was by Casey's bewitching mouth, Olivia still tried one last time to make her case.  "It wasn't 'a few bruises and a split lip', Casey," she countered.  "It--"  
  
"It happened," cut in the attorney as she laid a burning chain of kisses along Olivia's throat.  "Nothing can change that."  She raised eyes made emerald by her growing passion and gazed at Olivia.  "I survived, Liv," she told the woman.  "I'm stronger because of it."  Cupping Olivia's face in her warm hands, she drew the detective to her and captured her mouth with her own.  Their tongues danced together languidly, the heat they generated consuming the two of them.  The urgency quickly building between them made their hearts thrum painfully in their chests.  
  
When they finally separated, Casey's eyes glittered in the dim light from the street outside their room.  "Stop trying to save that Casey, Olivia.  She's gone."  She lay back against the pillows and pulled Olivia with her, moaning when she felt the weight of the older woman's body settle on her own.  "Be with me instead.  The one who loves you."  
  
With little more than a passing doubt, Olivia Benson took a shallow breath and surrendered herself to Casey's love, slipping body and soul into its unfathomable depths.  
  
When she finally slept again that night, she did not dream.  
  
\---  
  
Olivia braced herself against the wall of the marble shower stall and let the scalding water pound against her cranky, aching muscles.  It was their last day in DC and they had nothing touristy planned beyond brunch with Casey's family before they climbed in the rental and headed home.  
  
_Home,_ thought Olivia, as she waited for the hot water to work its magic on her poor back.  _Nice, quiet Manhattan.  Where I never have to see another monument, museum, or landmark ever again._  
  
Not that she hadn't enjoyed every minute of it because she had.  In a definite fish-out-of-water sort of way, yes, but she'd still had a blast.  It was as if she'd crammed every single field trip from her entire school career into one extended weekend.  All those trips she'd missed; first because her mother had been too drunk to sign the permission slips or had lost them and later because her mother had forbidden the trips, fearing that Olivia would use them as a jumping off point to leaving her for good.  High-school-aged Olivia had had to be content with souvenirs brought to her by a few trusted friends: a stuffed gorilla on a stick from the Philadelphia Zoo, an official FBI baseball cap from Quantico, a book of exhibits from the Smithsonian...  
  
All that frustrated childhood excitement had surged back this trip, sweetened by the excitement of sharing the experience with Casey, making Olivia overestimate her energy levels as she tried her damnedest to see everything there was to see in one three-day-weekend.  
  
"Never again," she whispered, almost jumping out of her skin when a voice behind her said, "Never again what?"  
  
"Jesus FUCKING Christ!  Casey, what the Hell?"  She made a move to face the 'shower invader' but strong hands urged her to remain as she was.  She couldn't decide whether she was angry or embarrassed by not hearing her lover enter the steam-filled glass cubicle.   
  
"I thought you'd like some help washing your back," said Casey innocently as she reached for the soap on the ledge next to her.  She quickly limned her hands with a generous coating of lather and began working it into Liv's back, smugly noting how knotted muscles hastily melted under her touch.  
  
"Unghhh..." groaned the detective.  The annoyance generated by being startled dissipated under her lover's sure and confident touch and Liv bowed her back, its long, graceful curve suggesting appreciative felinity.  For several long, blissful moments Olivia enjoyed the feeling of Casey's hands as they made short work of the aches and pains she'd begun to fear were permanent.  Until...  
  
A new sensation caused Olivia's eyes to snap open.  
  
"Um...Casey?"  
  
"Yes?"  The attorney's voice was lower and softer than usual and Liv could almost hear the predatory smile she wore.  
  
"Honey, that's not my back..."  Her eyes fluttered shut and she swallowed reflexively.  Were those stars she was seeing?  
  
"Good," growled the younger woman as her particularly precise touch deepened.  "Because technically I'm no longer 'washing'..."  She stepped forward and fitted her silky wet body to Olivia's, encircling the older woman's waist with her left arm in an attempt to support them both.  She inclined her head and licked a blistering path from the nape of Olivia's neck to one bronzed shoulder, pausing only so that she could sink her teeth into that lovely, firm musculature.  
  
Olivia's head jerked backward and she hissed a long susurration of pleasure and pain.  "Oh, God," she rasped, her voice torn asunder by sudden passion.  She widened her stance slightly in order to keep her balance and found that movement allowed Casey to deepen her touch even further.  Blindly she turned her head towards her lover, meeting and capturing her achingly lovely mouth in a crushing kiss.  
  
Casey's hips rocked into Olivia's, keeping time with her thrusts.  Her left hand glided up over taut muscles until it found its hoped for destination, her fingertips teasing Liv's dusky peaks.  The detective moaned into Casey's blazing mouth as her nipples tightened and then she suddenly pulled away.  "Harder," she murmured between the breathless kisses she laid along the redhead's jawline.  "Please..."  
  
Casey was only too happy to comply and she roughly widened Olivia's stance even further with one well-placed and powerful thigh.  She drove her fingers harder into her lover.  Urgently.  Relentlessly.   
  
"Fuck, Liv," she groaned, pressing her face hard against Olivia's long throat.  She gasped with the weight of her burgeoning desire.  
  
The raw language from the ADA set Liv's thighs quivering.  Wildly, she pushed backward, her need overwhelming her caution in this precarious position.  Her bloodless hands flattened against the marble as they strained to keep her braced and upright.  
  
Casey's hungry and unstoppable mouth strove for every inch of skin within her reach, kissing and biting whatever she found.  She whorled her tongue around Olivia's ear and sucked the sensitive lobe in her mouth, tugging on it gently, insistently.  She moaned deliciously as the ache between her thighs grew vast.  
  
Olivia's body was on high alert.  She felt everything with a painful intensity; the sultry water raining over her body, Casey's breasts pressed against her shoulder blades, Casey's hips rocking into hers from behind, Casey's fingers delving or teasing depending on their location, Casey's ferocious mouth laying waste to the last of her resistance...  Her blood pounded in her chest and against the inside of her skull and tunnel vision stole her eyesight, the edges succumbing to fiery flashes of light.  Somewhere in the back of her mind she wondered if she was going to pass out.  
  
Then...  
  
One breath.  One heartbeat.  The world began to implode.  
  
One breath.  One heartbeat.  Time, thought, sensation; all coalesced, fusing into one infinitesimal pinpoint of white-hot incandescence.  
  
One breath.  One heartbeat.  The single blazing dust-mote that encompassed all her awareness throbbed and pulsated savagely until--suddenly, totally--it stilled, cold and utterly frozen.  
  
Olivia's eyes were wide and astonished.  She felt it.  She felt it coming; the blissful destruction, the rapturous devastation.  
  
A percussion of silence struck then, holding the moment and both of them within it suspended.  Time stretched out of all proportion and Olivia was sure she could hear the screaming of her asphyxiated blood cells.  
  
_Hold on, hold on,_ she thought desperately.  _Don't pass out...don't...don't...  
  
_ The roaring detonation of Olivia's exquisite release was like the ground zero blast of an atom bomb and Casey held on for dear life, keenly aware that she was clinging to raw, untamable lightning: electric, cataclysmic, and so very lethal.  
  
But oh, to die that delirious death...  
  
A couple of hours later, somewhere between her first and second heaping plates of piping hot eggs and crisp bacon, Olivia seemed to come to and she paused in the shoveling of food into her mouth to gape at Casey.  Or more specifically, her neck.  Or rather, what was on it.  Unhidden.  Unmistakable.  
  
Just above Casey's collarbone, shining like a blood-red moon in a starless sky, was a still-purpling love-bite.  
  
It could be nothing else.  In fact, Olivia was sure that if she were to examine it more closely she would find evidence of her teeth marring that pale, porcelain skin.  And further evidence, perhaps...  Of a raging passion unleashed in those long, beautiful arms.  Of pushing Casey against the wall of the shower while pinning her wrists over her head...  
  
Olivia began to choke.  
  
Chris Novak, sitting nearest to her, began to pound on her back as all conversation at the table came to a screeching halt.  "Are you okay?" he asked earnestly.  
  
Casey's worried eyes found her lover's wide mocha ones.  "Liv?"  
  
Olivia held up one hand and grabbed her water glass with the other.  After a few hurried gulps she cleared her throat.  "Fine," she gasped.  "I'm fine."  She smiled a little in an attempt to convince them.  
  
Conversation slowly returned to normal.  Casey tore a cinnamon bun to pieces while continuing to regale her father and Julie with stories about some of her funnier moments in court.  There were few enough of those considering the types of cases she usually tried, but those there were she enhanced with her own signature storytelling style until she had everyone laughing with her.  Chris kept half an ear on his sister while he leaned closer to Olivia, who was still struggling though she had managed to get herself back under some semblance of control.  
  
"You sure you're okay, Olivia?" he asked.  Then he caught the burning line of her gaze.  Following it, he finally saw the source of the detective's distress.  He almost snorted.  
  
"Oh yeah," he said, nodding to Casey.  "She's been wearing that like a badge of honor all morning.  You didn't notice?"  When Olivia shook her head 'no', he continued on.  "You didn't get much sleep last night, did you?  She couldn't be prouder of that if it were an engagement ring!"  
  
Liv--in the middle of another sip of water--began to sputter all over again.  This time Chris couldn't help but laugh at her distress.  
  
"You're too easy, Detective," he grinned.  "You're going to have to get a thicker skin if you're going to hang around with this family very much."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind," squeaked Olivia.  She smiled politely as Matt turned to her to ask a question, profoundly thankful when it didn't have anything to do with that...that _thing_ so prominently displayed on Casey's leonine throat.  After answering him she was able to finish her breakfast in relative peace...even if it wasn't as comfortably or as carefree as before.  
  
When Casey took the last sip of her third cup of post-breakfast coffee, she raised sad eyes to meet Liv's, realizing that she couldn't put off the end of the meal any longer.  Reluctantly, they settled the bill and said their goodbyes in the parking lot of the restaurant behind the women's rental car.  Casey couldn't hide her sorrow as she hugged Julie and Chris to her.  Then she marched over to her father, presenting herself at attention, head held high even through her tears.  
  
Matt took Casey's hands into his own and sweetly rested his forehead to her own.  Standing like that, father whispered to daughter until daughter wrapped her arms around father's neck and held on until he gently extracted himself from her embrace.  He kissed her forehead once then sent her on to the car.  
  
Olivia was accepting a fierce goodbye hug from Chris when Matt finally shooed his son away, admonishing him for monopolizing the detective.  Chris grinned and countered that it was actually Casey that was doing that, if anyone cared to notice.  Then he half-heartedly complained that the oldest child always got blamed for everything.  Matt scowled at him until he left.  
  
"Olivia," said Matt, pinning the brunette with an inscrutable sea-green gaze.  
  
"Matt," said the younger woman, returning the colonel's gaze with one of her own.  
  
They stood there for a moment, regarding each other solemnly as the air bristled around them until Matt finally broke, his features splitting into a wide grin.  He gathered Olivia into a great bear hug, laughing all the while.  
  
"One day I'm going to win that staring contest," he promised, pulling away to look at Liv's grin and her bright eyes.  
  
"Dream on," retorted Olivia, chuckling.  Soon though, their laughter faded.  
  
"My little girl's crazy in love with you, Detective," said the giant of a man after a moment.  
  
Olivia nodded and swallowed hard.  "I love her, too, sir," she whispered, the lump in her throat shattering her voice into tiny shards of glimmering devotion.  
  
"Good."  The colonel's own voice was rougher than Olivia had ever heard it.  "Because I can think of no one else on Earth that I would trust to keep her safe."  
  
A single tear crested and broke over Olivia's eyelashes.  "Thank you," she whispered sincerely.  "I'll take good care of her.  I promise."  
  
"If you promise to take good care of yourself as well, I'll consider it a deal.  And a damned good one at that."  
  
Olivia flashed him a sideways grin.  "I'll do my best.  Though I think Casey might be better at that than me."  
  
"That's entirely possible, Detective," he noted somberly but with a hint of humor.  "That's entirely possible."  
  
The two shared a last chuckle before Liv climbed into the driver's side of the rental and backed it out of their parking space.   
  
Casey was pressed to the glass of her window, still waving though they had long ago driven out of range of even the sharpest eye.  Olivia glanced at her lover, smiling softly at the redhead's ponytail and the old NYPD sweatshirt of hers that she'd borrowed to wear home, declaring that it smelled "happy".  She topped the outfit off with a long Navy blue scarf that was a last minute gift from Julie, the 'Nifty Knitter'.  Olivia had a matching one in Cayenne pepper.  
  
"Casey?"  Olivia merged the Camry onto the highway then stole another brief glance at the ADA.  
  
"Yeah?"  The younger woman finally conceded that her family could no longer see her waving and she settled back into her seat, readjusting her seatbelt.  
  
"Can we come back here for Thanksgiving next year?"  
  
Casey stared at Liv for a long moment, her eyes wide with shock.  Then a grin as bright as the noonday sun took over her features.  
  
"Yeah," she said as she reached for Liv's hand, entwining their fingers.  "Absolutely."  
  
Outside the car the jealous sun burned silently in the empty winter sky, bound by time and nature to guide them home.  
  
\---  
  
"I'm telling you it was the dogs' fault!"  Elliot Stabler slapped both of his hands on the top of his desk then promptly hissed with pain.  He jerked both his arms into the air and gritted his teeth against the relentless stinging radiating from beneath two nearly identical bandages on either forearm.  
  
"Dogs?" asked Fin Tutuola, ignoring Munch's snorts of laughter.  "What dogs, E?  You ain't got no dogs!"  
  
Olivia Benson, just entering the squad for her first day back, gave Fin a quizzical look.  "Dogs?"  She peeled off her coat and turned to look at Elliot, doing a double take when she saw his bandages.  "Oh my God, Elliot!  What happened?"  Putting two and two together, her eyes widened.  "Somebody's dogs _bit you_?"  When he didn't answer, she turned to Fin who threw up his hands.  
  
"I ain't touchin' dat."  
  
John came to her rescue.  "Elliot's injuries were not inflicted by dogs, Olivia, but rather by a turkey."  
  
"A _turkey_ bit you?"  Olivia's eyes couldn't have been wider if she'd just been told that Cragen had won this year's _Miss NYC Drag Queen_ pageant.  
  
"NO!"  Elliot scowled darkly as he gingerly lowered his arms back to his desk.  Even Fin was laughing now.   
  
"The turkey in question was deceased at the time of the incident," clarified John.  
  
For a second Olivia was completely confused.  Then she closed her eyes and shook her head.  "Oh no.  Fried turkey again?" she asked knowingly.  
  
John leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers over his midsection.  "Barbecued," he said simply.   
  
When one delicate eyebrow rose in question, he explained.  "Turkey on grill.  Children in yard.  Children playing with dogs.  Marine opens grill hood.  Marine bastes turkey.  Dogs smell turkey.  Dogs run toward grill.  Grill topples over.  Marine _catches_ turkey."  He emphasized the last by mimicking a standard log-carry position.  
  
Olivia covered her mouth with one hand in an attempt to squelch the laughter bubbling inside her.  She turned her twinkling eyes on her partner and when she was able to speak without breaking down, she said, "Kathy's back in charge of the turkey next year, isn't she?"  
  
"Yeah," he said dejectedly, his shoulders slumped.  "She made me swear on the Bible."  
  
That did it.  Liv couldn't stop herself and she burst out laughing.  Which immediately drew Cragen out of his office.  
  
"Nice to have you back, Detective Benson," he greeted, seemingly less than pleased.  "Now that we're all here, do you think we could get to work?  There are some loose ends to tie up with the Marshall case, if I'm not mistaken."  He turned to glare at Munch and Fin as well.  "And you two have some witnesses to interview about that tower thing, don't you?  So let's get to it, people."  When he was done giving his terse orders, he marched back to his office and slammed the door.  
  
"What's with Cragen?" asked Olivia, still blinking at the captain's tone.  
  
"Well," said John.  "Since you were off to sunnier climes for your Thanksgiving dinner, the Stablers found themselves with an extra place at their holiday table.  To which they invited our intrepid captain."  
  
"So?"  That didn't explain anything.  
  
If possible, Elliot's features became even more glum.  "He was standing with me by the grill when it fell over," he explained.  "The turkey was so hot that...that..."  
  
Ever helpful--particularly when it was at someone else's expense--John finished Elliot's thought.  "He threw it to Cragen.  Who caught it in much the same way Elliot had."  His grin as he spoke was positively evil.  
  
"You mean--?"  
  
"Dey got matchin' gauze thingies," said Fin, grimacing with empathetic pain.  
  
Olivia looked from Elliot to her captain's ominously quiet office and back again.  She didn't know whether to laugh again...or run.  "Uh Elliot, we've got this Marshall thing.  Maybe we should--"  
  
"Right behind you, Liv," he said, already shrugging carefully into his coat and shepherding Olivia toward the door.  He was ecstatic to have the focus of the conversation on something else.  _Anything_ else.  "Remember that kid, Wayne?  I think he's lying about where he was the night Amy was attacked.  I think he was with Bobby Marshall.  We're going to take another run at him; see if he changes his story."  
  
"Oh.  Okay."  Olivia grabbed her own coat from the back of her chair where she had practically just deposited it.  
  
"New scarf?" asked Elliot when they were through the doors, watching as his partner wound a long swath of knitted yarn around her neck.  He raised an eyebrow of his own, eyeing the item dubiously.  "What color is that anyway?"  
  
"Cayenne pepper, I think.  It was a gift from Casey's brother's girlfriend, Julie."  When she was through donning her scarf, Olivia caught her partner's knowing grin.  "What?"  
  
"A gift from Casey's brother's girlfriend?"  He smirked.  "So I take it this little vacation...went well?"  
  
There was no mistaking his meaning and color flooded the female detective's cheeks.  "Let's just say that I have a lot to be thankful for this year," she said, smiling enigmatically.  
  
Elliot took a moment to study his partner, looking for anything amiss there amidst her easy grin and her relaxed demeanor.  He found nothing.  
  
"Good to hear it, partner," he said, clapping her on the back goodnaturedly.  "And can I just say..."  
  
"Yeah?"  Liv glanced at him uneasily, afraid of what he might say.  He winked at her playfully.  
  
"It's about damn time, Liv," he said, grinning.  "It's about _damn_ time."  
  
\---  
  
**_fin_**  
  



End file.
